to bury well is to bury twice, and suchbabushka flourishes make up a life, bonesspun and layered to defy our parallels, all thebroken things, atonements missed and sewn.
would my bones indeed be ‘pornographic’?
heard once this means there is no gap,
vulgar proportion, no space that melds
sure long-sightedness to love.
If I wound you about my limbs
like oil, would it make a difference
to the tracings of difference and merging and difference
besieging us like the aching howl of now’s blossom?
it gathers fine in front of you
a point distilled that you can do
nothing with and the whine of what
you thought should be batters unwaned.
it’s not about mathematics in the way we think
the decisions are there (a dark stone, a pale stone)
the cogs of the living turn with precision
casting, we seek the soft mess of tomorrow
something soft looks down at me
clouds perhaps, or the nuzzling of god
as summer approaches I’ll fill my hours
with litotes of how much I don’t hate you still.
the strips of my insides, like the colour of cattle
if I could pull warm saline into glassy taffee, I’d
settle down with my salt lick, reclining and satt
(rain seems always an excuse for the herding of traffic).
will the future also be black and white
like the days of my child-mother in a northern city,
when skateboards hurtled towards bitumen seas
and where some things – papery – hardened forever?
do the suds in me amount to that old-fashioned, four-letter feeling?
we do what we do, hold and refuse. Sixty-percent, we mused
(and I followed hips in jeans down a dog-legged hall). only later
he mails through instructions for machines that face the world sideways.
a gangsters’ view of paralysis indeed
she and I besides and I, a minefield
parasol lips ask then if she might touch it…
initiative is rarely the origin of deeds.
In the face of each other we've indeed been mute.
Your rainbowed feet, my puffy sleeves…
That boat goes past from hour to hour.
I've chosen touchless adjacency over wrangled seams.
lie down, lie down, do stay, please do!
our blackness creates a very bed,
against our faces, our hands. like moss
it maps in soot our ghostly hues.
across the laminex, we’d trade our vegetables.
lisa (the oldest) got the desired carrots, justin the peas
i’d get all the pumpkin while my youngest cousin’s raw deal
was a grey, enormous, debilitating pile of brussel sprouts.
as a child swimming in seas before
glass nipples arrived to flood the sands
(the end of a holiday always feels like this)
some trees are unclimbable, others take your hand.
clarity at its edge is blinding
(four days I was a fumbling storm)
calendars count our daily concealings,
‘though blotted, our scrawlings have still remained warm.
Eating leaves of flowers, skins of trees,
we peel back the sky for tracks of muscle.
Running at the sun, our feet are fleets
of motes migrating to a weightless home.
in japan the sky is drunk with perfume
in certain seasons, and the light blooms.
we kneel before the offerings of women
at low tables, hiding fires in their bellies.
that stacking tediousness, words piling up
like wood. against stale windows, I
hurl shoulders, breath, water, decision –
pellucid arcs dissolve mind-lace to sky.
over the cobbles he clattered and clashed,
a father's memory unfailingly steady.
enamelled hide hides the feint of marks,
in another life, my eyes were soft already.
Like children reading black on white,
I move furniture, aligning edge with line.
Pressed like proper shortbread with
insignias of us, my ether chimes.
That weather could be translated
into fabric equations, today it seems
a storm rides the weave, and the barometer is
a searing basket full of colourless things.
Those magnificent things. Things
that hold the memory with their pillars of white.
I’m not always grand, will not apologise for this.
Cupped to the possible, I tend the overlooked.
in a sleep like oz, I push myself
against a surface resembling thought.
what covered me, unravelled you –
so why am I now ashen cold?
pac-man (blond) seeks pac-friend or
will bleep sad bytes for giga-years.
needs transplant for his pac-man heart,
and a coat of paint for firewalls.
tears squeezed hot like berries, our
skin is a crypt with breathing walls.
these face-rains come so delicately sour.
bells on a hillside, we are small sounds travelling.
adding oil to salt, is it shell that forms?
is it a kind of coral to shield against light?
four times in one morning, I was a tide
of mew-plaited liquids disentangling themselves.
and if I can’t feel the edge (of water,
of speed), do you think it matters, will I
learn my weight? – over time and via you –
the things that shine are not unbreakable.
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